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Show 25 25 50 All. Again he pushed it back on me and I had had enough. We met on Monday and had a great time. However he did mention valentines day. Also we made plans to meet on Friday. I am very upset. Why is he doing this? Has his ego been hurt that I was online when he had removed the earlier account? Is he just being stubborn and testing me? Or am I a time filler till he finds something better.
So why is he still looking? Is he playing me? I met a guy 2 months ago on match. He asks me out every weekend and also at least once during the week. After about a month, I hid my profile. I asked him if we are exclusive and he said yes. Then I noticed that his profile was still active. I confronted him about it and said that it bothers me that you still have your profile up on match. Two weeks go by and it is still up. I also told him that we agreed to be exclusive and that having an active profile tells other women that he is still single and it is disrespectful and unacceptable to me.
He said that I have trust issues and that he is not doing anything or talking to anyone else. It has been another 2 weeks after that conversation and his profile is still active. So, I put my profile back up today and I am not going to tell him. I am just going to start dating other people and not even worry about it.
And I am not going to ask him about what he wants to do. I am going to do what I want because he is surely doing what he wants. Also, Ladies, exclusivity is a trap for women and a benefit to men. At this point in time it is not wise to promise exclusivity to any man without a proposal. What do you all think about this guy? Loser, Liar or Commitment phobe?? Dear Brad, I have been dating a great guy for 2 months now…he joined Match. We are exclusive and are both in love and very happy.
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When I broached him on this subject a few weeks ago, he assured me he was NOT interested in other women and that this dating site would not allow him to remove his profile until his subscription ended. Now I am not sure whether this is a lie or if he is playing me? Thanx a lot Brad!! A bit has happened since I wrote to you. We had plans for Friday but he said the weekend was best spent with friends.
I was already assuming we had broken up so I was surprised. I replied next morning and told him I had other plans since I thought we were on a break. I am not checking up on him anymore cos that upsets me. No reaction from him but when we were talking about the weekend it was clear he had no dates. He even gave me a massage. So I am confused. He knows I am dating other ppl. Have I driven him to being this stubborn? Being a man your perspective is valuable!! Thanx in advance again!! Rhia — did you drive him to be stubborn?
I hope he comes around to appreciate what he has instead of worrying about what he might be missing out on! Thanx for your kind words Brad!! But he has to realise that on his own. Oh well let him play. Gosh he changes stories fast. I know it may have come as a shock! I am so shocked!! As a man could you tell me if a man can go from friendship to serious relationship? I wish you the best of luck — whether he changes his mind or not! You have been lovely Brad! On last Friday he said in case I was out late to let him know. Yes first time I get an invitation to his place.
There was more to the text that told me his close friends were there at the pub with him. When he rang he sounded very upset. I told him to come over. He cuddled me beautifully the entire night — it was sweet. He, not me, started talking of baby names with me. Am so confused really about these mixed signals. That text he sent to me by mistake screams that messing up with me bothers him. What do you think?? This seems to be a reoccurring incidence, but if you could help me clarify my situation I would appreciate it.
I have now been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We met on match. We have continually seen each other from the beginning for at least 4 times a week. Things have cooled lately since then, but I still care for him deeply and he clearly cares for me. He has always been honest with me about everything I have asked.
He has plenty of female and male friends. He tells me all about them and is pretty open. Shows me pictures and explains how he met them. He even had me add a tracking device on my phone so I can see exactly where he is at all times. I did not ask for that. I feel that it is his way of letting me know that he is not doing anything behind my back and is totally honest. We have yet to have a real exclusivity talk and have not talked about our dating profiles.
I took mine down right away and I just figured he always had his up. So yes, he has had his up. I recently signed up under a fake profile and tried to wink and favor him. I know he checked his email and eventually he did look at the profile, but he did not take the bait and respond back. Am I handling this situation properly? I care about him so much and I yet I have my reservations about him. Does he seem like he wants something more with me? We spent our first Valentines together and he met my family. I have met some of his friends.
He had asked me to meet his mom a few months ago, but we had to cancel and it has yet to happen. He has continually helped me out, he surprises me with gifts along the way. Things have been going smooth and steady. I figure with all the things he has done it sounds like he is interested in me. Maybe once you know where he stands, it will make it easier for you to make a decision?
It sounds more like you just want to understand. If you use that approach with him, I would hope it would go pretty well. I met this guy on Match. I have met his daughter and I spend the night over his house frequently as he have mine. He tells me all the time how he feels about me and he shows me as well. Yet, he still has his dating profile active and he still checks it almost every day. His actions are that we are a couple but somehow I am thinking he is trying to keep his options open. If I am texting somebody he is comfortable asking if I am texting other men and we have open communication.
We have a 15 year age difference and I wonder if that is something that bothers him. I guess my queston is why does it seem like we are playing house with no real commitment? Is it to early to worry about this? I think in many of the cases listed here, if the woman waited for the guy to make a commitment…well, it might never happen! I met a guy online about 2 months ago. We actually met up about a month ago and got along great and have a lot of fun together. He seems like a great guy, and the compliments are flowing but something is off. He works the graveyard shift so it is sometimes hard to see eachother but we usually manage a couple times a week.
Not sure what that is all about. But also texts me and tells me how much he misses me and how much he dreams about me, blah, blah, blah. So about a week or so ago I ask him what we are. I still had my profile up and so did he. He says he really likes me and is into me and still getting to know me. He also said he has friends he talks to but no one that he is seeing or dating. That he is a one woman type of man. He then mentioned taking down his profiles.
So the next day, I took down mine. He then says, oh, I thought it was because of me. I then said well, it is partly because of you, I am not interested in talking to anyone else while I am getting to know you. So he texts me the other day and says he it on POF just out of pure boredom and then tells me he misses me and wishes he could see me.
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Ok, WTH does that mean? Then I can still look online and see that he is on those sites almost everyday. So he is looking. He is sending me all these confusing messages and I am afraid to bring it up again since we already had the talk. He introduced me to some guy as his girlfriend but tells everyone else I am his friend. What is the deal with this guy? But I must say his profiles up still really bother me, especially since we have been intimate. Jamie — it sounds like the confusing areas in your relationship might go beyond just the dating profile.
Oh, forgot to mention, I go over to his place a lot and everytime I leave, he begs me to stay and says he hates that I have to leave. We talked last night and he mentioned it again. He said he hates the fact I always have to leave and wishes I could stay at his place all the time. He gave me a key to his place also and told me to stop by whenever. I tried to give it back last week and he told me to keep it. Hi Brad, Same boat here…been dating my guy for 11 months now — we are both 42…. I am his first relationship since a divorce from a 16 year marriage from a woman who had cheated on him.
About 3 months in is when I saw he was still logging in……it upset me…. I had a talk with him. He wanted to take things slowly and was not ready to commit to a relationship though he liked me A LOT and did not want to stop what we have. I too began to go back on-line…. That we are at different places in regards to what we want at the moment, although we do want the same thing in the end, a loving, solid relationship. I went 3 weeks with no contact. He had not dated anyone else, and I believe him. I told him I had. He asked if we could pick up where we left off….
We had a wonderful 3 weeks…. I reacted instantly — saying the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results I was talking of myself And of course a few other choice words……. He was pretty angry at my outburst……that Friday I wrote him, apologizing for acting instantly rather than sitting with my feelings and just blowing up on him. His response was basically that he accepted my apology. He just got out of a marriage filled with anger. How he hates the fact he makes me feel the way I do with all this. That he is afraid.
And that he stays online because he is afraid of closing all doors and just be with me, the first woman. And he went on to say he thinks we may be meant to be together but struggles with being unsure. This was all in November. From Nov to Jan, we went on a date once every 3 weeks, always having the time of our lives. I did go on dates with others as well……. Fast forward to today……The last month and a half, we have been spending a lot more time together…. I feel as I am really, truly falling in love with him despite that.
Last week, while just hugging and feeling so happy being there, my heart was racing with emotion that it actually startled me.
Is the Person You’re Seeing Still Actively Online Dating?
What is this all about? See what you do to me? I am just so scarred to bring my feelings or the site thing up……. I would love some feedback…….. I have been dating this guy I met on okcupid for a few months now. We were very intense the first month seeing each other all the time and every weekend. Since our relationship has been a bit all over the place for these months, should I have even brought up the topic? Laura — would you feel comfortable telling him you want to take your profile down and ask him if he would do the same?
Also, you might want to ask him why he wants to keep his profile up if you are using words like that. All these answers are very helpful, thank you! I met my boyfriend on POF 4 months ago. We had an amazing connection and he made me his girlfriend about the second time we hung out.
He seems to be just perfect, everything I was ever looking for. I deleted my profile about 2 weeks after we had started being boyfriend and girlfriend. Then about two months after, I went on the site with my friends user info and searched for him. That was very hurtful. I messaged him on my friends proflie and he answered very nicely that i was pretty and he was still looking for a relationship. I was devastated when I saw it. I stopped answering and next time I saw him I asked him if he was still on the site and he answered and said: We worked things out and he promised me he would delete it ASAP.
So, we hit 3 months. We are at the point when we say I love you every day and we are often talking about marriage. He even introduced me as his fiancee once, and all his friends know about me. We were casually talking about something and he slipped something about the site and I asked him: I got really sad about he still having it up and went into my zone for the rest of the night.
He promised again he would delete it as soon as he can get back on and he promised I would never have to go through something like that again. How am I supposed to trust him when he makes empty promises?? There he still is. He has also updated his description. The whole profile is completely updated. I love him so much but it seems that he keeps making these promises that mean nothing. And how much can I really mean to him and can he really love me if he keeps doing what he knows hurts me So much.
I am not Brad obviously but if you read my post, which is right before yours, you can see I was almost in the same situation. Since then, he has been trying to sleep with my with no strings attached and even today he told me he misses me and wants me, but still sees people that he met on the site, but I am the only one he really likes… Sure…. Sounds like he might just be a commitment-phob. Sophia — sorry for the slow response but I would agree with Rachel. I started talking to a girl for around 2 weeks, we met on a dating website and have been talking daily. Its long distance so we met for the first 2 weeks after talking and the date went perfectly, she even bought me dinner!
She said all the right things and we spoke of only being interested in each other. Ive had trouble getting her on the phone as thats something shes uncomfortable with and shes unsure about being able to visit cause of money going towards a course.. I notice shes still going on this same dating website we met on I had taken mine off since we met but this worries me so much that i asked if she still went onto the site and she said she did..
If i trust her the way i should then i need not to worry.. But i dont feel easy with that… Its difficult… because teh date went brilliantly.. As i kinda already mentioned about this… I dont know how to play it.. I dont want to be pushy and annoy by bringing it up again.. It seems to me that many people want to be open to long distance relationships but then when they get in one, they decided to keep their options open for something closer.
I think I would try to be open with her. I would be as kind as possible if you decide to have this talk with her: I met my boyfriend of 1 year on okcupid.
Things were going extremely well and I have never been happier. Then, one day, out of the blue I decided to see if he was still using the dating site and he was online and chatting with girls. I confronted him about it, we broke up, and then he came crawling back to me 2 weeks later and deleted his okcupid profile.
I never texted him back last night. He sounds really immature. I have dated my share of immature guys and he sound like one in my book. Maybe you should join all those dating sites just to piss him off! I know it sounds petty but he is being petty by saying stuff like that to you and even being on those sites. Once a player always a player.
Hi similar story met a guy online 2 months ago we meet once a week on the Weekend. We are both full time parents and work full time. He also Has 4 units so busy but he bought it to my attention that he saw me online previous day And asked me about it in person I said I was checking his profile. About his interests etc to round up some questions I said u were on there he replied with yea but he has 2 mutual friends On there he talks to not on there for dating.
Should I be concerned?? It saddens me to read all these stories becuase I am on the same exact boat as most of you. Met an amazing guy about 2 months ago and we decided to only see each other. Curiousity always killed the cat and I checked to see if he was still active a couple weeks ago and he was.. I brought up the subject and he insisted it was nothing that he had an app on his phone and would click on it when bored but that he would remove the app. A week goes by and it still says active within 24hours.
Confirmation number and all. Then today I searched again and it said active in 3 days. So looks like he pulled one over on me and is still online. I feel all of your pain. Several months ago I met a man online. I expected both our profiles would remain active until we were certain we were right for each other and moved forward in the relationship. Seemed we were perfect together with him professing his love and talking of marriage. I expressed the same feelings and we planned to move in together two weeks from now. A few minutes later, his short worded texts suddenly stopped.
Can someone, please explain to me what is going on because I see it as one thing and one thing only, I am being deceived in a very cruel way as he is clearly preoccupied with pursuing other women on dating sites. Oh, and yes, I am angry, justifiably, moving preparations are expensive and time consuming. I started talking to a guy in Dec and we hit it off. We chatted for a few weeks before finally meeting. The first date led to another and another, etc. He seemed genuine at first. He told me that he would like us to be in a relationship, but because we were approaching his busiest time of the year at work, that he would like to wait until things calmed down a bit…he said 2 of his serious relationships ended over it in the past.
For the past 2, months we continued to text just as much, we talked on the phone a lot less due to our now conflicting schedules, and we saw each other once every 2 weeks give or take a few days. Then this past month the texting died down A LOT. There was one night about 3 weeks ago now where I did flip out on him somewhat about not responding to my texts at all heard nothing from him, two different days. The next day I apologized, but heard nothing. He told me he would try to meet me somewhere if he could get some stuff done for work and some family things, he told me to txt him in an hour or so and see where he was at with being finished.
I did that, but no response…he claims he fell asleep. Then a day or so later I really kind of had a moment where I texted him asking him if things were ok between us because he was being distant. He said he was just busy. I asked him if things were still good because I really wanted things to work out between us.
He agreed that he did too, and things were good. I expected to hear from him more, but I heard less from him. We went a few days without talking over the last 2 weeks. We actually probably only talked 3 days? I confronted him about it and told him how much it confused me and hurt me, since I thought we were still good, and that he wanted things to work out. He claims a friend must have hacked his account as a joke and that he still wants stuff to work. He told me he was going away for 2 days for work this is true , so I took that as a hint not to text because he was busy.
I did my usual hey there sexy, he said lol…i asked him how his work thing was going, no response. My friend asked if I check to see if he had gotten on his profile, so I did, and that Sunday night he had been on. I also took more time to look at his profile than I originally did the last time, and I noticed that at some point he uploaded a recent picture that he actually just posted to facebook back in april. For those of you that ask why about how I found his profile, my friend created a blank account to check her dishonest husband a few years ago, and I logged on with her permission …my profile has been down for a long time.
I am trying my hardest not to bring this up again, but the recent picture really has me thrown for a loop. He has met my family and gets along great with them, I have met his mom and some of his friends.
Step 2: Admit defeat and cut your losses.
We had been hanging out two weeks straight. He is in the army and when we first met he only had a couple days before he went to do a month worth of training. After the month of him being gone, he got a hotel room and i stayed with him for a few days, hanging out non stop except when i have to go to work. I only work hour days, and then i was back to staying at my place but we were still constantly seeing each other. We went on a road trip together, he paid for everything, went to the beach got a really nice room.
But, we went camping last week and i noticed he was texting another girl while i was curled up next to him but i didnt say anything, i didnt really see what they were talking about it but it made me kinda concerned. He pointed out to me the other day that he has a hard time showing affection and was asking why i stayed with him. The past 3 days have been really wierd, we were suposed to go see a movie together after i was off work and i hadnt heard from him since noon, had texted him quite a few times with no response.
I called him 3 times when i was off work and then it started going straight to voicemail… not sure if he turned the phone off or what… The 2nd day i texted him at am and asked him what was going on. He said he could ask me the same thing and that i had blown up his phone all day until it died. I asked him about going to the movie again and never heard anything back.
It is now day 3 i havent heard from him at all today. I know he got my messages yesterday i messaged him on facebook and it tells you exactly when he read it which was this morning around 8. He only checks his facebook from his phone. So i deactivated my Pof online dating acount 2 weeks ago as soon as we discussed that we were dating. I have checked a few times by searching users on pof and each time i see his profile it says he has been on that day.
I texted him that i missed him, i havent mentioned anything to him about deleting his profile, i told him i deleted mine and he said he cant delete his from his phone. But he still checks it daily so im kinda confused. I completely deleted my profile dont know if i should make a new one or what it doesnt seem like he is committing to the relationship or caring about my feeling the past few days.
He can get you a hotel room and take you on a road trip but logging into a website and removing his profile is beyond his time and resources? Hi Brad, I met my boyfreind on the site in April , we spoke over txt for like 3 weeks and met up. To be honest the site was for marriage purpose, i have been in there for some time and gave up hope. I admit the date was perfect but i had bit of committment issue to because i got hurt in the past and due to this i dumped him on the third date but we quickly patched things up.
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The thing is in the begining he was referring to our future hopefully it would lead toi marriage and refferred me as his wife, love etc. One month down the line he stopped refferring to out future, except he will only speak to me current situation and only refers me as gf. Now he stopped referring me as that, he says i am not bound to him nor is he and wants continue to see where this goes. His profile in singlemuslim was taken off within two days of communicating with me. He treats me well and does care but lately he acted strange so i snooped into his phone and he is talking to other girls and he has a profile in plentyoffish.
After this he blamed me and started going on about neither of are bound, when before he never said this to me. What do i do? Is it wrong for me to say exclusive? It seems he wants to continue with me and makes time to see me. He even said just because i chat to them doesnt mean i am with them. Should i take things slow? Its been like 2months together and he is really great guy if i have to be honest and i do have my moments too in annoying him too.
Jessica — it sounds to me like you were exclusive at some point at least in his mind and then later, without you knowing exactly why, you stopped being exclusive again, at least in his mind. This whole situation sounds to me like him trying to have his cake and eat it too. Hi Brad, I know this is almost what everyone else is saying but I would like your advice. I met a man online a month ago. Actually, he kind of chased me online for a week before I gave in and talked to him. We hit it off and are still seeing each other. After a couple of weeks I told him that I had deactivated my profile and he told me that he had cancelled his subscription.
He has asked me to be his girlfriend. To me that is being exclusive. So, if this is the case, why would his profile still be up? AND I know that he logs in periodically. I know, because I have a friend that is on the same dating site and she keeps me updated, unfortunately. Again, you can phrase it in a non-accusing way. About six weeks ago I met a guy from an online dating site.
At that moment I realised I really do have feelings for this guy. He is affectionate and kind, all the traits I was looking for. His response threw me completely: Or how would he like it if the situation was reversed? I accidentally discovered that my bf had recently logged into his online dating profile.
He admitted it when I confronted him. I have been dating this guy for about 2 months now. We see each definitely once a week and sometimes more than that. We do not talk every day, but it has been like that since the beginning. Now the difference is that I did not meet him on a website- but I met him at a Match.
I know that he is on Match and is active not through his own admission, a friend did some detective work this weekend when I brought him to her party.
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I do not take issue with the fact that he is active and most likely going on dates once in a while with other girls. It has been very innocent, and in a way, I am glad. We get along GREAT, have lots of laughs, have a lot of fun, hes met my friends, I have met some of his friends and I am typically the first person he makes plans with when he comes in town.
Because of the slowness, I feel like feelings have not developed too strongly between us but they may have potential to do so some day. My question, Brad, to you, is that I feel a man who consistently sees a woman for this amt of time 2 months should know if he wants to pursue something a little more serious or not….. At the same time, I think I have a tendency to rush things or date people with whom i have CRAZY chemistry with; thus naturally rushing things physically and in turn, emotionally.